And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she peed on how many people?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
