No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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