Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
where are my eyebrows?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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