Pappa wants mamma naked
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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