She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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