I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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