how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
