and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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