I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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