You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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