ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
