I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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