i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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