ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
