Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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