I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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