i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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