The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
