Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
