Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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