what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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