Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
