Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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