sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
