it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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