I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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