I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize