Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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