Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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