i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
