and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Found your dick twin last night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
