at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
