we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
