Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My breasts were aching with rage.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize