I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm really into asian looking animals
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
