It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have tasted many bathrooms
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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