your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you win again, gameday.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
