I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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