Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
