i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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