you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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