I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
This is not my ceiling
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
