I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
