PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
