would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
