Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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