where does the pee come out of this thing
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize