he wants to bone in the snuggie
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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