wat bout pragnant strippers??
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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