I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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