I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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