I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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