you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
