That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
sarcasm needs its own font
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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