he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
