I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize