I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
