It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
