i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
