We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
