its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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