She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize